Sex Advice Columnist Insists 'It Gets Better'

Seattle-based relationship and sex advice columnist Dan Savage arrived in St. Louis yesterday for a public speaking engagement at .

Adored by fans for his frank manner of speaking and saucy sense of humor, Savage at 7 p.m. Monday night in the addressing the issue of antigay bullying as part of his ongoing It Gets Better Internet project. College students and community members packed the university's theater for the free event.

Since the project began last September with Savage's original video, where he spoke alongside his partner, Terry Miller, more than 10,000 YouTube users have submitted video responses with words of wisdom and encouragement for LGBTQ youth in middle and high school. More than 650 video responses rolled in during the first five days alone.

Notable participants include President Barack Obama, the staffs of Google and Facebook, Ellen Degeneres, Anne Hathaway, Colin Farrell and Suze Orman.

It Gets Better started in response to a tragic slew of teen suicides last year, including 15-year-olds Justin Aaberg, of Minnesota, and Billy Lucas, of Indiana.

Once a victim of bullying himself, the 46-year-old University of Illinois alum knows firsthand how gender-nonconforming teens can become the targets of antagonism for their peers and, even worse, their role models.

"All too often, the worst bullies are their parents," Savage said.

Forty percent of the homeless teen population is comprised of minors who came out of the closet to their parents only to be kicked out of the house, he said.

Savage admitted some critics have been nonplused by his campaign, citing white privilege and affluence as reasons it got better for him. He countered that his own roots as the son of a Catholic church deacon and lay minister didn't exactly put him in the upper class.

"Life doesn't get dipped in gold and rolled in moonlight, but it's worth it," Savage said.

Hoping to dispel homophobic myths, Savage decried the notions that one chooses his or her sexuality and that same-sex couples are a threat to the American family.

"The idea that gay people in your family are a ticking time bomb is ridiculous," Savage said.

People from all walks of life turned out to see Savage speak.

South St. Louis resident Sarah Rodhouse is a devoted follower of Savage's column and podcast. In fact, the name "Dan Savage" decorated her cellphone wallpaper.

"I like how candid he is; he really does tell it like it is," Rodhouse said. "I feel really normal after reading the questions he answers in the column."

Rodhouse said in her son's school, being called "gay" is possibly the worst insult.

"That's a word that really cuts kids to the core," she said.

Saint Louis University law student Derek Stegelmeier had heard of the It Gets Better project but hadn't realized Dan Savage was the man behind the campaign.

"I'm gay, so it's very important to me," Stegelmeier said. "I would have liked to see those videos when I was younger."

Travis Cape, who sat outside the theater with Stegelmeier before the show, reads Savage's column for amusement.

"I enjoy the enlightenment and how he has fun with his readers," Cape said. "It's nice to read someone that's honest."

Kate Eckelkamp, a Catholic school art teacher and master's student at Webster University, reads Savage Love but was not too familiar with It Gets Better. Although she hasn't seen antigay bullying become a serious problem in her classes, Eckelkamp cautions her students against using the word "gay" in a derogatory light.

The book It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living hits stores today. The 352-page hardcover includes expanded essays and new materials and retails at $21.95.